Wounds of love as described by St John of the Cross are the feelings of longing for absolute union with the fulness of God, contrasted by the grief and frustration that we feel at the things that hold us back from it, such as temptation, greed, lack of discipline, basically laziness and sin.
The grief is caused by our discovery of new revelations of Gods fulness and having our safe little perspective suddenly blown up to show what little we know of Him and His immense love and character.
I see the wonders and riches possible with a devoted relationship of love with God and I long for more of Him. I try to encourage, portray and model this to others through my worship leading, my prayers and by passionatley talking about it with them.
Latley I find myself wounded and feeling grieved (as I believe God is) when people display no effort, no desire to worship or seek the Lord through even the simple things that thousands, millions and even billions of followers of the LORD Jesus Christ have gladly embraced through the ages.
Lord I feel a longing , its a longing that has always been there, yet I have only come to realise the character of this feeling since I dedicated my life to you. Lately, especially since I've begun to read and reflect on the writings of Christians through the ages, I've come to realise that my feelings are not unique to my life only. They are feelings of longing for You in Your reality and fulness that hundreds of thousands of believers have had before me. If I can attempt to articulate and define these feelings, this desire then I feel that upon reflection I may see some way to satisfy this longing in a constant and real way.
In the ancient writers I find a desire and a journey after what I can only describe as the fulness and reality of God. That is to say, living in the fulness and reality of all that Jesus won for us on the cross. All of it, not bits, but the full benefit, all that a believer in Christ is entitled to.
Looking around there seems to be hardly anyone seeking the same direction or path (at least in my circles) so i am forced to look back to move forward. I am even looking at other Christian traditions that I have never considered before to 'pan for gold' amongst other doctrines and practices that I dont wholly agree with. For example; I dont subscribe to the Catholic worship of Mary and prayer to the saints, or belief in purgatory , but the whole monastic medative contemplative tradition thrills my heart and gives insight into an intimacy with God that is rarely explored in my own 'charismatic' tradition.
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